Christmas season. Time for family and friends. Time to get together, laugh and dine. It's also a time of great loneliness for me. Not to be cliche but sometimes it is a blue Christmas for me.
I see people around me with their husbands or wives, with their children and I ... I am reminded that that special someone is not by my side to share my laughs and joy during this season. That special someone is not with me when I put up my Christmas tree; when I first see the Christmas tree lit up, all bright and lovely. He is not with me when the DJ played "All I want for Christmas". That someone is not with me when I walked for miles in a shopping mall looking for the little perfect or I've-run-out-of-time-this-will-just-have-to-be-it gifts.
This feeling of loneliness had been recurring for nigh on seven years and at various degree. Sometimes it was a fleeting thought, sometimes I get depressed and sometimes a cup of choc is the thing to chase those blues away. An extra huge cup of cinnamon choc is especially needed after a well meaning relative asked when am I going to settle down. Hello... if I met the right person, I'd brought put a string of flashing light bulbs on him and brought him to the party so that everyone could meet him!
The TVs and movies do not help. The season's movies tends to be all boy-meet-girl-proposal-happily-ever-after or I'm-sorry-forgive-me-happily-ever-after. Urgh. But like a bug attracted to the light, I can't help watching those movies and then, of course, I'd get the blues. Then I got to have that cup of choc, then a bar of choc then a tube of ice-cream then...I'm 3kg fatter. For this season, that would be good because I've lost too many weights these few months.
So, I'll keep hoping for the right someone.
Merry Christmas ye all.
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