Does he loves you like he loves me?
When he sees daisies, does he remembers me?
When he smells a scent, does he remembers mine?
When he's with you, does he thinks of me, sometimes?

When he hears that special song, does he thinks of us?
When he goes to that special place, do memories make him smile?

Does he shares his dreams with you, like he did with me?
Does he sometimes shares his worries with you, like he sometimes did with me?
Does he lets you see his fears and tears?
Does he opens up to you, like he did with me?

Does he holds you tight every night?
And hugs you tight before he leaves every morning?
Do you miss him before the hour's gone?
Does he calls you in the middle of the day, just to hear your voice?

Do you wait up for him, like I did for him?
Do you wait by the phone, waiting for his call, when he is late?
Do you sit by him, just sit by him, just to listen to his voice?
Do you caress his face, like I used to do?

Will you stand by him through trials and storms?
Will you hold his hand when his fortunes turn?
Will you still love him when his youth is gone?

Do you hurt when he is tired?
Ache when he is sad?
Do you pray for his soul, every morning and night?
Do you love him, really love him, like I do?

Does he loves you like he loved me?

Sins

Let those without sins cast the first stone...

Goodbye 2009

Clear the roads. Make way for 2010.
Prepare the soil. We're gonna bury 2009 in two days time.

2009 had been challenging. The most by far in recent years. The economy had adversely affected my company which resulted in adverse effects on us, employees, too. Painful changes were made. Life in 2009 prepared me for another greater challenge - leaving my old company and joining a new one at my age is no easy thing. Scared me to make such decision but looking back, things seem to prepare me for the change. I was emotionally more open to new environment. God opened ways which I could not have foreseen. He is leading me somewhere. I don't know where yet, but I don't doubt it's somewhere. I am thankful for the opportunity to try new things, see new things and taste new things.
In the short journey in 2009, I discovered who were my true friends and who I painfully had to let go. I called in a few favours and were glad when they were given freely.
I discovered the exciting world of Facebook. Ho...reconnecting with lost friends. Some had changed so much, they are a true surprise. I saw most of my old friends are married with children. If there's a reunion, we'd need a big big hall.
Politics in Malaysia had gotten dirtier, messier and plain hilarious at times. The words that some MP uttered are unbelievable.
The world said goodbye to the King of Pop, Michael Jackson. Patrick Swayze of Dirty Dancing and Ghost fame lost his battle with pancreatic cancer. The world welcome more celebrity baby - Sparrow (what a name!), son of Nicole Richie. Brangelina is still together. So is Jennifer Lopez and Marc Anthony. Demi and Ashton. Jennifer Aniston is still single. So is Kate Hudson. Renee Zellweger is with Bradley Cooper - beautiful couple but based on Cooper's history, doubt they'd stick. Drew Barrymore is back with Justin Long. Hope they stick. She deserves a good partner. Susan Sarandon split from long term partner (23 years!) Tim Robbins. Shocker. Lindsay Lohan is still very much lost.
Not many memorable movies except Terminator Salvation and Avatar. Both big on special effect, set in the future and blockbusters.
Oh, at this year end, I've lost so much weight that I had gone from M size to XS. So am taking this holiday season to feast.
Here's wishing you another beautiful year. Cheers.

Words to the wise

Choose a friend not for social standing
But for support

Choose a partner not for beauty
But for companionship

Choose a house not for prestige
But for home

Choose a path not for greed
But for peace in heart

Personal Legend

Each of us has our own Personal Legend; our destiny; a fate that the Hand that Draws All had decided for us. When we seek our own Personal Legend, the universe will conspire to bring us there. To know our Personal Legend, we must read the omens and follow them.

In a way, it's saying that each of us has a predetermined fate; however that fate is not a foregone conclusion because our fate may change according to our decisions. Should we heed life's omens, situations and environment will bring us to that predetermined fate. However, should we opt to ignore life's omens, our choices will lead us to different paths.

We who seek our Personal Legend are happier and more contented. We who chose to ignore our Personal Legend may only find temporary happiness which may dwindle over time leaving us bitter and disillusioned. God does not say that the journey to Personal Legend will be smooth and unobstructed. Instead, the journey will surely be a test of our resolve, courage and faith. It is always going to be extra tougher when we are near to our Personal Legend. It is here that most quit when they should not and thus never realized their Personal Legend.

In pursuit of our Personal Legend, we will have opportunities to learn and view new things. Lessons that will will astound us. Experiences that will make us better beings. It may not bring glory but its reward will be long lasting.

All the above are lessons from The Alchemist a book by Paulo Coelho.

Now, if you truly believe each of us has our own destinaties, the next step would be to determine what those destinities are and to read omens that will lead us there.

Coincidences. Miracles. Signs from God. Omens. Journey. Personal Legend.

A door closes. Another opens. Omens. Directions. Journey. Personal Legend. Contentment.

Get me to the church

Yesterday I attended a church wedding.

I haven't step into a church for a long long time. This church is new to me. When my friend called to tell me she was having her wedding there and invited me to attend, I responded yes. I thought my other friends will also be attending and thus I will not be attending alone. But after checking with them, it turned out that none of them could make it. Thus, I was left to decide whether to attend or not.

For most of you, it's a foregone conclusion. For me, it's not the same. I get jittery about attending social functions alone.

However, I decided to honor my words and attend. As I sat on the pew, I was suprised that I did not feel nervous at all. Even though the church was crowded with stangers, I was at peace. Normally, I would had been nervous and feeling uneasy. But I was totally at ease yesteday, looking around observing people and enjoying the ceremony. The hymns were really good and I was happy to be praising and worshipping God. As such I was able to enjoy the ceremony.

The church was beautiful. Inside was white with high ceiling. The unique part is the altar. The altar was just a simple glass table without ornaments and it's wall behind the altar was ceiling high glass. Beyond the glass, we could see the marble cross set in a garden. What a wonderful way to portray our faith. God, as symbolized by the cross, with nature in the sunlight

Looking back, I think the book I am currently reading also helped me through yesterday's event. It spoke of searching for one's own personal legend. More on that later.

Die Young

Early this morning, my office inbox showed I got four mails from ex-college mates of mine. The news from them were shocking. A mate of ours had gone home to be with our Lord yesterday evening. He died of lung cancer.

Truth be told, I could not place him when I read those mails. In my defense, I must state that there were at least 150 of us mates and it had been 15 years since we last saw each other. However misplaced my memory of him may be, fact remains that he died young, only 39. He leaves behind his wife, a daughter and son.

It brings home the fact that life is fragile. As we go about our daily chores, groaning and fuming over work, cursing while stucked in traffic or long queue, gossiping with friends, watching TV and surfing the net, most of us forgot that tomorrow may never come for some of us.

If we knew today is our last day, would we live the day as we did today? I think most of us would not. Push aside the initial urge to get on a plane and go to Hawaii or Paris and live wild for the last 24 hours, I think we would change how we interact with people around us and be more selective on the activities we chose to spent time on. Perhaps instead of shouting at colleagues, we would take time to understand from where they come from, respect their views and yet be firm on ours. We would take more time to be supportive instead of back-stabbing. We would take time to show our appreciation to our staffs instead of demanding more productiveness. Lets not forget the family. We would spend more time talking and laughing with loved ones rather than washing the dishes, mopping the floors, doing laundry and more because tomorrow those stuffs would still be there but our chance to show our love to our family may be gone. We may miss that last laugh, that last hug or that lass kiss.

I believe each of us is special to someone or two or more but at least one. Don't miss the opportunity to say some kind words. Don't miss the opportunity to give that special smile to that special someone. Because tomorrow may never come.

In memory of the people who had entered our lives and enriched us ...

I am happy..deliriously so

I am beautiful. I am happy. God loves me. I have Jesus Christ, my saviour, my all. I can see. I can hear. I can laugh. I can smile. I can touch. I can walk. I can dance. I can run, if I want to. I have hair on my head, not many but I still have enough. I have gray hairs but I can dye. I have enough money to go to the salon for hair treatment. I can cook. I cooked pot pie and I must say it was good for first timer. I can bake. My apple crumble was good, even dad said so. I have nieces who adored me. I have car for transportation. I have home. I have sisters to laugh with. I have a brother to talk with. I have a job. I have colleagues I can talk with, if I want to. I have friends in Perth, Australia. I have Chris in Cambridge with her blog. I am happy. I am beautiful. I can easily satisfy my boredom with books. I have Astro! I have Amazing Race. I am sad Jasper was eliminated in the previous round of Grommer Has It! but I like to think he'll do well in his job. I am sad that Bill and Star was not winner of the Greatest American Dog but I bet they still love each other. So, I am happy. I am happy they took the chance and they are better for it. I am happy. I am glad God is with me every single step of the way. I may not ask for directions but I know He is with me. I may disobey Him but I know He loves me especially when I realize my errors. I am happy. I hope Mum will be mucho better quick quicker quickly. I am happy. I am delirious. I am beautiful in eyes of God. I see heaven as my final resting place. I am happy. I can laugh. I am happy I found Calvin and Hobbes. They have given me more laughs than I remember in recent times. I am glad Bill Watterson is such a creative comic-ian(?). Ha ha....Calvin...Hobbes. I am happy I found you. I am happy that I have not struck the great big four. I am happy that although I am pear-shaped, I have waist to show off my hips. I am happy I have ten fingers for which I could adorn each with a ring or two. I am happy I have two ears of which I do not pierce (not now anyway). I am happy I can taste - sweet sour salty and ...are those the only tastes? I keep thinking there's another one. I am happy that although I have trouble remembering certain things, my memory is still better than some on occasions and great when it comes to movies and such. Ha! I am glad I had some basic piano. When in the mood, I could thump away on the old piano. I am happy my toes are painted bright bright red. Ha ha ha

That's my happy chant.

Weather went berserk

Talk about global warming. The effects are global. Last month, London was totally snowed-in.

Here, I'm seeing weathers unlike those in the past. Normally, we would be experiencing hot, windy and dry days. But we had been having rain almost daily for the last two weeks. Some days it rained dogs and cats. Kuala Lumpur reported a 2m high flood last week. News said the rain in KL that day was equivalent to that of a 2- months' rain. The good thing is nights are cooler due to the evening rains. That means I could sleep better. So I am all for rain minus floodings. Yea.

GOD is good

Isn't this lovely?


I feel like I just want to run across the field and laugh and shout aloud. What a beautiful sight. How grateful I am to be able to see such colours. Such open space just full of infinite possibilities. Some are not so blessed with the wonder of sight but I am sure God, as he is fair and all wise, blesses them in some other aspects.



IT is sights like this that lifts up one's heart; that shouts "life is good and tomorrow will be better!". How could we despair when confronted with evidence of God's wondrous creations. Surely such god will not leave his creation in despair forever even in this times of economic downturn. I wish I could share this with all others who need some inspiration now.

GOD is good.

Be the Best

If you can’t be a pine on top of the hill,
Be a scrub in the valley – but be
The best little scrub on the side of the hill;
Be a bush if you can’t be a tree.
If you can’t be a bush, be a bit of grass,
And some highway happier make;
If you can’t be a muskie, then just be a bass -
But be the liveliest bass in the lake.
We all can’t be captains, we’ve got to be crew,
There’s something for all of us here.
There’s big work to do and there’s lesser to do
And the task we must do is the near.
If you can’t be a highway, then just be a trail,
If you can’t be the sun, be a star;
It isn’t by size that you win or you fail –
Be the best of whatever you are!

~ Douglas Malloch, poet

Significance?

When I look at the stars and realize

that the light from some of these suns takes a million years to reach my eyes,

I realize how tiny and insignificant this earth is,

and how microscopic and evanescent are my own little troubles.

I will pass on soon;

but the sea stretching for a thousand miles in all directions

and the stars and spiral nebulae swarming through illimitable space above,

they will continue for thousands of millions of years.

I marvel that any man looking up at the stars

can have an exaggerated opinion of his own importance.

author: unknown

Couples

It's hard to avoid couples. Everywhere you go, you're bound to see at least one couple be they young or in their golden years. Some walk slowly together, some held hands and some had matching tees.

When I'm out eating, I like to watch them. You'll know which couple had been together for some time and which couple had just started being together. The former tends to move in harmony, each move or action is like a jigsaw piece that slide with another. The later are shy in movements and tend to gaze into each other's eyes.

Me and my family went to a shopping mall last weekend. It was heart warming to see my Mom walking with my Dad's arm on her shoulders. The years had not lessen their love, instead the years had bonded their relationship making it stronger.

Whilst I like looking at couples and I usually do not mind when they snuggled up to each other in public, I tend to sneer when I see a male and female in matching stripe tees. Once I saw this couple who had adorned themselves with striped green tees and matching hats. Yikes.

What I've Learned

With 3 decades under my belt, I felt obliged to share my experiences with whomsoever interested:

• I've learned that love is unpredictable; we can and sometimes do fall in love with someone we never dreamed we'd ever fall for. Proximity breeds ...proximity.


• I've learned to treasure those moments with my parents when they reminisce of their younger days.


• I've learned to appreciate a hug. A hug can comfort a broken heart. A hug can bring a smile to a sad face. A hug can revive a tired soul. And the best thing is -- when you give a hug, you get one in return. Another good thing -- both are free.


• I've learned that sometimes it's better to let go of that someone you love when you know he/she can never be yours.


• I've learned that everyone can sing. The only difference is in the quality. And the best time to sing is when in a car, alone : )

(Added 25.3.11)

• These will past. No matter how bad a situation, it will soon past.
• There's a season for everything. A time for laughs and a time for tears.
• Forgiving is hard but good for the soul.

Feel free to add on what you've learned and your age, if you're so inclined.

Loving It

I had not seen my nieces for quite a while. Longer yet was a time when I had them in my car. Today, I had the opportunity to correct it. I drove us out for lunch.

As I drove off my sister's house with my parents and three nieces, one of my niece requested me to turn on the radio which I gladly complied. As I drove along, I suddenly realized that I had to raise my voice in order to be heard. On top of the radio, my nieces had been talking non-stop. Occasionally, when a song they like came on air, they'd sing along. Not in harmony.

Frankly, it sent shock waves through my system. I had just spent two hours driving with my parents up North to my sister's and we had had small conversations with music on the background. But this, this was like in a crowded room with everyone talking.

Thinking my nieces were too engrossed in their conversations, which had turned into a debate about songs and they were humming some Korean songs, I turned the radio off. Their conversations continued unabated and petered out after a minute or two. "Hey, there's no music", then the youngest chirped . "I didn't think you need music as you were singing your own songs," I said. "Aunt, don't you know - we can't live without music", said the eldest.

I commented on this to my parents, for which they responded that during my generation, we would all sit quietly in the car throughout the trip even though there were six of us in the small beetle car. And some of our trips could last up to six hours for those journeys back to my dad's hometown.

All this got me thinking. Growing up, we did not have the luxury of radio in the car, MP3 and MTV. The one radio I remembered was about 1'x8"x3" on which we used to played cassettes. Our favourite was the soundtracks from movie Grease. Ah, John Travolta and Olivia Newton John. My sisters and I, I don't recall my brother ever participating in these sessions, would sit out in the verandah with the radio and shout out the lyrics. "Reproduction...na na na nah...". Looking back, and realizing now what those lyrics meant, I think my parents must had been horrified. God bless them, they never stopped our fun. We were aspiring singers then, each believing in the goodness of our voice and talent. I tell you, my parents and neighbours must had been saints. In those weekly singing sessions, we had sang loudly, each of us trying to drown the voices of others. And I'm tone deaf!

Those were the good old days. I wondered what my brother did during those times. Must ask him one of these days. Perhaps I'll email him. And I would still drive my nieces around because although the noise level increases when they are in the vicinity, I still adore them.

Introduction

Don't you just love daisies?
They look like many suns has been laid on the ground to delight us. The open face welcoming and greeting in delight.

Hello,
Needless to say, I am a fan of daisies. I adore them more than roses. These feelings must had stemmed from my childhood. My mother used to have daisies in rows surrounding our front garden. I don't recall they needed much attention from my mother except the occasional watering. I used to sit by them and played with my dolls.

The picture I selected for the header of my blog is specially chosen because I think it evokes a certain kind of tenderness. The way those flowers are held up to her lips shows tenderness, a wanting to connect and an appreciation of beauty. Similar to the way a mother would held her newborn and if I have a child, I would have posted that picture here, too.

Yes, I am unmarried and never been married. If you asked me whether I am happy with my single status (I am frequently asked this), I would say 'yes' and 'no'. At times when I had seen mothers with their newborns, I wondered what I may be missing in my life. But, at times when I've seen mothers harassed beyond limits by their children (especially in shopping malls), I am thankful I escaped similar fate. These don't mean that I like children but not the efforts required to care for them. I have seen and do understand the sacrifices required. After all, I have many nieces and nephews, whom I adore but whom I gladly return to their parents whenever they throw tantrums. My mother would have loved me to add another one or two to that bunch and I would have gladly obliged her too had I met the right someone. So, for mothers out there, congratulations. And for those without child, congratulations too.